Relaxing Holidays

We had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas. We figure it may be our last for a long time...by next Christmas our babies (whom Craig named Cherry and Apple) will be scooting or crawling around and probably getting into everything. No complaints here. It sounds busy, but fun. Christmas with kids will be that much more magical!

I continue to feel really great!! I'm still pretty tired at the end of the day, but usually a 20-30 minute nap after work cures me. Still no cravings other than V8 at the beginning and no aversions other than eggs.

It will be a bit odd not to have an appointment tomorrow, as we have for several Mondays in a row. I wish there was a way to do an ultrasound at home so we could check on the babies whenever we wanted! Hmm...maybe I should invent one! :-)

I made a decision when we found out we were expecting, that I would not ski this winter. It's been so hard and it's only December! I really miss it already. My dad works for a ski resort, so he gives me constant updates on the ski and snow conditions...at least that way I can pretend I'm skiing. When I see ski commercials on TV, it makes me wish I was out there "swooshing" in the snow. Don't get me wrong....I would much rather be expecting babies than skiing, but it's been a bit of an adjustment for me.

Our first regular OB appointment is next week. I'm not sure if we will have an ultrasound, or what we should expect. I will definitely keep everyone posted though.

Happy 2010!! It's going to be a great year!

Two Babies!! *updated pictures*

We are still breathing a sigh of relief, or maybe more than one sigh. Our appointment yesterday went well except for having to say goodbye to the wonderful staff who have been helping us realize our dream of parenthood. Our nurse was especially hard for me to say goodbye to. She has been there for me every step of the way and even made a special phone call (from home) a few weeks after our miscarriage to find out how we were doing. She is an above and beyond nurse and a wonderful person!

My belly is expanding and I have officially started wearing maternity pants. I bought myself two pairs and so far I'm really loving how comfortable they are. However, I don't really feel pregnant yet...just a little overweight. :-)

Our twins are doing so well!! Yesterday we got to see one of them move around and hear both their little heartbeats. So neat! Here are their stats:

Baby A is measuring at 8 weeks 2 days (I was 8 weeks 5 days yesterday) and his/her heartbeat was 172.

Baby B is measuring at 8 weeks 3 days and his/her heartbeat is 176.

We were able to get a good profile picture of baby B although the pictures we were given don't show as much detail as we could see on the screen. We could clearly see the nose of baby B! Baby A's picture is pretty blurry, but don't worry...he/she is just as cute as baby B.

Above are pictures of baby B, one of them together, then baby A. In the one of them together, baby B is on the left and baby A is on the right.

We have our first OB appointment in two weeks...January 6. Stay tuned.

After 44 Days...

We are finally done with all our injections....forever! When I say 44 days, that only includes the progesterone, not the shots before that and not the 2 other rounds of IVF we've done. What a relief to be done!!!

Some of you may have noticed that I added a gadget (a picture of developing twins) on the right side of the blog. Thank you Jen for the idea. I really wanted the heading above them to say "Craig and Nicole's twins", but alas, the program wouldn't allow me to add such a long heading. So, they are just Nicole's twins. Have no fear though, Craig is planning to help me raise them! ;-)

I made my first OB appointment this week. It is scheduled for January 6, when I will be 11 weeks along. The doctor I wanted to use is retiring this summer and is no longer taking new patients. So I will be trying another doctor in his office (a female). I'm looking forward to meeting with her and seeing if she's right for me. The office opens early too, so I shouldn't have to miss any work for appointments, which is really nice.

Many people have been asking how I feel. I feel really great right now! Just like last week, I'm still pretty tired by the end of the day. I try to sneak in naps after work whenever I can. Unfortunately, preparations for Christmas have been interfering with that. I've also been waking up 1-2 times per night to go to the bathroom. I'm used to it now and can easily get back to sleep again. As far as cravings go, I haven't had any since the very beginning with the V8. I do however, have a few aversions. The biggest one is eggs. Yuck! Any form of eggs (unless in cookies, muffins, etc) gross me out. I've also been noticing that certain perfumes and scented lotions disgust me. Probably the most difficult one is that I cannot chew my regular flavor of gum. For some reason it just doesn't taste good to me at all. I'm a big gum chewer...some say I'm addicted, so this has been hard. I have found a flavor I can chew until I'm able to switch back to my regular flavor.

Craig and I are off and on having nervous feelings about our appointment on Monday. It's a big one since it's our last with our RE and like I said in the last blog, we didn't make it past this appointment last time. We are both a little worried that we will find out I've miscarried again. It's so hard not to think that way after going through such an awful experience.

I will update again on Monday night.....hopefully with good news about our babies!

Staying Positive

It's amazing how much longer it takes for our doctor to examine me this time. He spends a fair amount of time on each baby....measuring them, looking at them, checking their heartbeats. This morning we got the pleasure of hearing the heartbeats of two of the babies. This was Craig's first time hearing a baby heartbeat because he wasn't at my appointment with our last pregnancy when I heard it. The reason we only heard two hearbeats is because we lost our littlest baby. Before you get too sad for us, remember, we are still having twins and we feel completely blessed! On so many levels having twins sounds a lot more managable than having triplets. Craig and I both breathed a sigh of relief at two babies instead of three. Here are the advantages I can easily come up with: my pregnancy will likely be healthier, as I should be able to carry the twins to 36 weeks or so; we will be able to use a local OB instead of a high-risk OB in Spokane; I can still nurse; I may be able to have a vaginal delivery; it will be easier for us to do things as a family after the babies are born because we won't have three to tote around.

As for our twins, they are doing really well. Both are the exact same size (7weeks 4 days) and have the same heartbeat (158). I am 7 weeks 5 days pregnant, so they are right on schedule for size.

I am getting bigger and wearing Bella Bands everyday to hold my unbuttoned pants up. I'm beginning to wonder if we will be able to wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone, because I'm starting to look pretty pregnant. I was reading in the book, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy, that a twin mom is the same size as a singleton mom who is 6-8 weeks further along. So going by that, I guess I look like I'm 13-16 weeks pregnant. The morning sickness comes in waves now, and generally occurs when I haven't eaten for 2 or more hours. I know, I know, two hours isn't very long but my body is ALWAYS hungry! I've also continued to be very tired. All in all, I feel really great though! I'm enjoying pregnancy so far.

We only have one more appointment, next Monday, with our RE. We will then start seeing an OB and we will officially be like any other "normal" expecting parents. The next appointment was when we found out about our miscarriage last time, so we are both a little nervous because we've never made it past this point. We also found out today that we get to stop doing the progesterone injections this Thursday. This is a very big deal because we've been doing them everyday since November 4! I'm sure I will have to write a post about how happy I am later in the week. :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers, and support. It helps us get through all the ups and downs of this process.

Calling all Maternity Clothes!!!

If any of you ladies have maternity clothes and would like to LOAN them to me, I would really really appreciate it! I have a feeling I'm going to need them soon and will need a range of sizes from medium up. I will return them all to you when I'm done wearing them (or when I outgrow them).

Thank you in advance for any help you can provide.

A Little Peek Inside

I've just received 4 text messages asking how everything went, so I thought I should post this ASAP. :-) My blood work all came back great. Our beta is now over 300,000. That's a big number. My progesterone level is good and we get to drop that injection in half starting this Friday. I can't remember exactly how much longer we have to do it after that, but I know it's no more than a week. Yay!

We got to see THREE heartbeats on the ultrasound screen today too! Yep, our triplets are still doing well. The heartbeats look so neat too...like a quickly flashing light. Very amazing! Our doctor told us to be prepared for the possibility of more blood in the upcoming weeks, as apparently it's fairly common in the 1st trimester. Obviously we hope it doesn't happen again because frankly, it's very scary to know I'm pregnant and see blood.

Baby #1 is: 6.5mm long and his/her heartbeat is 120bpm
Baby #2 is: 4.5mm long and his/her heartbeat is 105bpm
Baby #3 is: 6.4mm long and his/her heartbeat is 120bpm

Our doctor said baby #2 is a bit on the small side, but the heartbeat is still in the normal range (he likes that number to be above 100 at this point in the pregnancy). We will continue to keep a close eye on that baby, and the others. However, for now, all is well. We are hoping to hear the heartbeats next time.

The ultrasound pictures were okay, but only showed baby #1 and baby #3. I may post them later. I better hurry up and get this posted for now before I get in trouble.

Are you Pregnant?

It's been a long 9 days since our last appointment. We are very anxious to see what's going on with the babies tomorrow at our ultrasound. I realize the morning sickness could return, but for now I'm enjoying feeling really great! I'm hungry ALL THE TIME and my breasts are still pretty sore, but I really can't complain. I do have a bit of a belly on me already. Much of this is due to the fact that I'm still doing progesterone injections (we should be done with those soon), but part of it is probably the fact I'm carrying 3 babies in there too. A girl at work, who doesn't know we were trying, actually had the nerve to ask me if I was pregnant a few days ago. Ah, what?! I was shocked, but managed to be a good liar (which I felt bad about). I'm not ready for everyone at work to know yet.

We did have something scary happen on Thursday night. I woke up at 12:30am and was bleeding and cramping. It was short lived, but we called our doctor anyway. Obviously, since we experienced a miscarriage, it was pretty frightening for us! Our doctor told me to rest and that the bleeding could be from a variety of things, so not to stress (easier said than done). I had convinced myself that we needed to have an ultrasound Friday, however, in talking to our nurse Friday morning, she said it could be one of two things. She said the bleeding is either from miscarrying one of the triplets, or from leftover blood in my uterus. I haven't had a regular period since September, and she said it's common to have blood in the uterus and even bleed a little bit in the first trimester. After talking to her, we decided to wait for our ultrasound tomorrow. Whatever is happening will happen regardless of if we got an earlier ultrasound. For now, we are just staying calm and knowing we will have more answers tomorrow morning. Since Thursday I have talked to several women who said the same thing happened to them, so that makes me feel a little bit better.

My dear friend, Jen, had an extra book about pregnancy with multiples and she gave it to me. It's very uncommon to find books specifically targeted at twin or triplet pregnancies. So far, it's been very informative. As I continue to read, I may share some of my bits of wisdom with you all.

I will update tomorrow, maybe with some ultrasound pictures.

Processing...

We have been spending the last two days processing the information we were given on Friday. It's hard to believe that we could be parents to THREE babies in a few short months. Wow! We still aren't exactly sure how to feel. I think my biggest concern is my health and the babies. I know with triplet pregnancies, there can be many complications leading to months in the NICU for the babies and lots of bed rest for mom. We have laughed a few times at the idea of going anywhere with 3 babies. In case you've forgotten, there are only 2 of us. :)

We've decided our mantra for now is 'one day at a time'. It's so early in the pregnancy and so hard to know what may or may not happen, that it's easier to just think about one day at a time.

We found out our doctor will be out next week, so our next appointment will be the following Monday, December 7. It will be hard to wait that long to see what's going on inside me, but the babies will be that much bigger and thus, it will be a more interesting ultrasound. We are being realistic about the fact that this pregnancy may end up being twins instead of triplets, but like I said...one day at a time.

For now, our due date is July 27 and I'm 5 weeks 4 days pregnant today.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. Obviously, someone prayed pretty hard for us!! haha ;)

Did I hear you correctly?!

We are currently having 1-2-3 babies!!! What?! Yep, triplets! We're in shock! Our doctor says they all look good so far, but to take it day by day.

So far I've cried 3 times and it's only been 1 1/2 hours since we found out. We're scared, excited, worried, nervous, happy, and so much more.

The ultrasound picture wasn't very good today, so I'm not going to post it. Our next appointment is next Friday where we will get another internal ultrasound and hopefully hear the heartbeats.

Little Update

It's been a couple days since I last wrote and a few things have changed. It seems the morning sickness has lessened. Although on Sunday morning I was making eggs for breakfast and had to call Craig into the kitchen to finish so I could sit down for a few minutes. No fun, but I've waited so long to be pregnant that it's kind of nice to have such strong symptoms. The last couple days I've noticed myself being very tired. Usually by lunch, I'm ready for a nap...too bad my work doesn't pay me to sleep. :0) My breasts have also become increasingly sore, as they did last time. I will probably start wearing a sports bra to bed soon.

That is all for now. I will update more after our big ultrasound appointment on Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Beta Test #2

Our 2nd beta was done today and they were hoping my number (365) had doubled to 730. It was 775!!!!! As a reference point, last time my beta was 85 the first day and 213 by the second appointment. We aren't sure what to think except that we're hoping if there are multiples, there aren't 3. Triplets would be scary on so many levels. For now we just wait and wonder. We have our first peek (internal ultrasound) next Friday morning.

I've been having several symptoms of pregnancy, but the most pronounced is still the morning sickness. Generally, I've been better by lunch though so not too bad. This morning I felt great and was even able to have a cup of decaf. I've also noticed myself being pretty tired by the end of the day. Other than that, I don't have any other odd things happening. I believe I've experienced my first craving though....V8. Hey, at least it's good for me.

The details

I woke up this morning at 4am because I was so sick. My stomach was killing me! I tried to get back to sleep because my alarm was set for 5:15 and I knew if I got up, I'd never get back to sleep. I dozed off a couple of times but mostly just tossed and turned until the alarm went off. I promptly went downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal. It made me feel a little bit better, but I still wasn't feeling great. I popped 2 tums and tried to ignore it.

My blood draw was at 7am and my friend Jen (also an IVFer) and I have a theory that our RE's office calls early if your pregnancy test is positive and later if it's negative. When I received a call at 8:20 (and I had just experienced morning sickness) I was pretty sure it was positive. However, then I got another call from the office 20 minutes later. Oh yeah, and ANOTHER one an hour later. I was starting to panic. Craig and I agreed to meet for lunch so we could listen to the voicemails together. We met at a little place near my office and listened to the messages in the car before going in. The first one went something like this, "Hi Miss Nicole (our nurse calls everyone Miss) this is Karen. When you get this message give me a call." Oh great. What does that mean? Oh and I should mention that Karen is usually very upbeat and was quite neutral in the message. The next message was a hang up. Then the third said, "I've probably already worried you (yep) and I didn't want to leave this on your voicemail (oh no..leave what?) but congratulations!" "We are all so happy for you guys". Craig and I celebrated with hugs and kisses.

I decided to call her back after lunch so she'd know I got the message and because she was obviously dying to talk to me. She repeated how excited they all were and kept saying congratulations. Almost immediately after hanging up she called back...this time she told me how everyone in the office was standing around waiting for my lab results this morning because they were all rooting for us. What wonderful news! We feel very lucky to have such an amazing staff taking care of us.

So, the logistics are....we have another pregnancy test on Friday morning to make sure my numbers are rising (HcG level...pregnancy hormone) and the baby is developing properly. We will then have our first peek at the baby next week sometime. I don't know the date yet, but I'm hoping they can squeeze us in before Thanksgiving. We really want to know how many babies are in there since we transferred 3 embryos. Our HcG level today was very high.....365 for those of you who even know what that means. Generally, but not always, that means a higher chance of multiples.

This probably goes without saying...even though Craig and I are excited, we are also a little scared and cautious after having a miscarriage. We will not be telling anyone who is not on this blog list about the pregnancy until the 12 week mark. Please respect this by not telling your families until we are ready. Thank you, thank you.

I will, of course, keep you all updated as we learn more.

The test was....

POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I'm on the way out the door for a celebratory Thai dinner with Craig. I will write more later but didn't want to keep you all hanging.

Tomorrow is the big day!

In case any of you have forgotten, tomorrow is our pregnancy test. I know, I know...none of you forgot. We definitely didn't! It's a day of mixed emotions. We are excited, nervous, anxious, and relieved to finally get to this point in the process.

We have made the decision to wait to listen to the voicemail from our doctor's office together, after work. We will be listening to the message between 5:00-6:00, so expect an update after that. We will need to call family and let them know what the results are first, so I will update after we make those calls and have time to process the news ourselves.

Please send many prayers and positive thoughts tomorrow!!

Thank you to everyone for all your support through this crazy process. You keep us motivated!

How many more days?

I'm getting a bit stir crazy waiting for Wednesday to arrive. I've been working really hard to try to keep myself busy. It's not so much that 9 days is a long wait, but I've been over analyzing every little thing I'm feeling. I haven't had any sure signs of pregnancy yet.

So far this is what I've experienced (all of which could be signs of an impending period or side effects from the massive amount of hormones I've taken in the last few weeks):

1. Face broke out with zits...everywhere! Gross, but I was able to get it under control with a few extra washes of my face. This has happened to me both of our other rounds.

2. Twinges over my ovaries and uterus area. Also has happened both times.

3. Minor breast pain that continues. I've had that both times, but they were each a bit different and I can't remember what it was like at this point during either round.

4. Stomach upset. This is new. I was eating salad and drinking a virgin bloody mary today and had to stop several times because of an upset stomach.

5. Tired. I've also experienced this both times.

Like I said, none of these things are sure signs of pregnancy but I wanted you all to be up to date on my "symptoms".

I had a blood draw today to check my progesterone and estrogen levels. So far everything is going fine. I will continue to take both my estrogen pills and my progesterone injection at the same dose.

My next trip to Spokane is Wednesday when we will have a pregnancy test. I have to work that day and I haven't decided if I will listen to the voicemail right when they call, or wait until after work. Either way, I will update shortly after so you aren't waiting.

Leftover Embies

We were told on transfer day that we would get a call yesterday to let us know how our 5 leftover embies were doing and we could then make the decision whether or not to freeze. The biggest reason we weren't going to is if the quality of these embryos wasn't as good as the ones we already have frozen. Soooooo last night at 5:00, we still hadn't heard from the office so I called our nurse and got her voicemail. I left her a message to please call me in the morning to let me know what was going on with our embryos. She happened to be working late last night so she called and apologized that no one called us. She hadn't been told to call us or that we were considering not freezing this time. She also told me that we had 4 very good quality blastocysts (well developed embryos) that had been cryopreserved. At first I thought, um....you didn't even ask us? And then I thought, I'm so glad they decided so we didn't have to. And then I thought, I wish they would pay the bill. ;-) Truthfully though, we are so pleased that we had 4 to freeze, and 4 blastocysts at that. That means that 6 days after retrieval we had a total of 7 good embryos (the 3 they transfered and 4 others) out of 14. Those are incredible numbers!

Transfer

Our transfer went smoothly. We arrive 30 minutes early, me with a full bladder and they took us right back to our room. I asked to go to the bathroom just a little bit and they actually let me. I guess they don't doubt a veteran when she says she has too much in her. :-) Our RE came in shortly after to show us the pictures of our embryos and talk to us about how many to transfer. It didn't take us long to conclude that we should transfer 3 this time so we will have no regrets if this round doesn't work and also to give us the best chance at success. I'm sure some of you might be concerned about 3 embryos being put back, but keep in mind that at our RE's office the chance of high order multiples (triplets or more) is 2%. Each embryo is graded and the 3 we transfered back were 1 excellent and 2 very good quality.

We still have 5 others (I know...8 embryos total) wow! that we will decide on tomorrow. Our RE listened to and understood our concerns about freezing too many. A nurse will call tomorrow with a run down of the quality of the ones we have frozen compared to the quality of these ones and we will decide what to do.

Our 1st pregnancy test (also called a beta) is next Wednesday, November 18.

I'm home resting with my feet up in hopes that the embryos will feel nice and cozy in their new home.

I will try to write more tomorrow about what we decide on the remaining 5.

Day 3 embryo update

Our embryos are doing so well!!!! They should be at 8 cells today if they are properly developing. We still have 9 embryos which is shocking: One 10 cell, seven 8 cell, one 5 cell.

Your prayers and positive thoughts are working. Keep it up! :-)

Our transfer will be either Monday or Tuesday depending on how they continue to grow.

Will update when we get more information.

Day 1 Embryos

Our embryos are doing well....of the 14 eggs retrieved, 11 were mature. Of those 11, 9 fertilized. So we have 9 embyros on day 1!! :) They will call with another update on day 3 (Saturday). Until then, we hope and pray that several of those make it to day 5 (potential transfer day). It sounds like we're going to have some tough decisions to make as far as whether we will freeze the leftover embryos this time. We have 3 frozen already from our previous rounds and we are pretty darn sure we won't be doing IVF again...soooo. But then again, they are a lot of work to produce so we'd hate to let them perish. It costs $500 every time we freeze them, plus more money after 1 year. Hmmm...I guess we will wait until our transfer day and seek the advice of our RE.

Home Sweet Home

We are home from the retrieval and I'm feeling really good! I didn't get sick this time, thankfully. The anesthesiologist was a really nice guy and listened to my concerns about getting sick in the past.

They retrieved 14 eggs!!! Great news, but we will know more tomorrow when they call to let us know how many were mature and how many fertilized. For now we will just enjoy the number.

Our nurses are amazing and we feel so fortunate to have them helping us. Both nurses gave me hugs when we were done and one told me how special we are to them. That means so much to me!

I will be home recovering today and tomorrow. I will update again tomorrow when we hear how our embryos are doing.

The thoughts and prayers are working. Keep them coming for the best quality embryos possible!

Retrieval Day Tomorrow

Our retrieval is scheduled for 9:00 tomorrow morning. That time will be nice for a variety of reasons, the first being that Craig and I can go in together. He has to give his sample (nice word for it, huh?) at 7:00 and I have to be there at 8:00 to be prepped for surgery.

The RE said he was happy with what he saw today and when our nurse called, she commented on how great my increase in estrogen and progesterone levels look. I guess Craig did a good job with that injection last night!

Please continue to pray, send good vibes, or positive thoughts!! :)

It's a hit!

Our retrieval is scheduled for Wednesday, so tonight is our trigger shot night. Craig will give me an injection in my butt/hip area tonight at exactly 10pm to trigger ovulation, hence making retrieval of the eggs easier. The retrieval will be done 34-38 hours later. It's one of the big days in the life of an IVFer.

During my ultrasound today, my doctor said, "It's a hit". I asked him what he meant and he said it means my eggs are ready for ovulation. Hmmm...interesting terminology. All of my smaller eggs look to have caught up and are now a good size. Yay! Thank you all for your prayers...apparently they worked.

With our trigger shot being tonight, I have an appointment again tomorrow morning. Then of course, we will be going in again on Wednesday for the retrieval. That will make SIX days in a row I've had appointments! Whew!

I will find out tomorrow what time the retrieval is, and will post to let you all know.

Two Down

I've had two more appointments (yesterday and today) since I last wrote.

My RE is now happy, for the most part, with how things are progressing. The reason I've been going everyday is because my eggs are growing at different rates and he wants to keep a close eye on the really big one to make sure it's not growing and the smaller ones to make sure they are growing. Don't ask me how he knows the right mixture of medicines to get that done, but it seems to be working. He said this morning that we will likely have our retrieval on Wednesday, rather than the originally scheduled date of Thursday. I go back in tomorrow morning for my 4th day in a row to find out if my eggs are ready for the next phase of the process.

I will write more tomorrow night...

Until then, thank you for all the continued prayers, words of encouragement and support. We really appreciate them all!

What does that mean?

My appointment today was interesting. First off, when I arrived at 6:45 there were already 5 or 6 women in the waiting room. What? I thought the appointment was at 7:00 and I was early. Nope. And the waiting was looooong today! There ended up being about 30 women in the waiting room by 7:00. Wow! It must be a big series this time! I didn't end up leaving until 8:00. 1 hour and 15 minutes in the dr. office! Insane.

Sooo...when I went in for my ultrasound I asked my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) why he dropped my follistim so drastically. He said my estrogen level was pretty high and he wanted to get it down. AND, he also found a larger than normal egg in my ovary during the scan. He says that probably explains the high estrogen level. If you will rewind to our 1st round of IVF, you may recall that part of the reason he believes it failed was due to my low estrogen level. Huh? My body is definitely reacting differently this round. Hopefully different in a good way.

When my nurse called this afternoon to give me my instructions, she started out by apologizing because I have to go back in tomorrow for a 7am appointment. My RE wants to check me again. It was not a scheduled appointment, so that has me a bit worried. On the other hand, I'm glad they are closely monitoring me. They also changed my medications again tonight. I added another injection of a medication I took in both round 1 and 2. It is meant to keep me from ovulating before retrieval day. I also had to take more of another medicine I was already on. Three injections tonight...oh joy.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty well. I have slight twinges over my ovaries, but that's normal and to be expected. I've been going to bed early in an attempt to get 8 hours of sleep each night.

Please keep sending positive thoughts because we need them! I will ask more questions tomorrow for clarification and will keep you all updated.

Go Uterus!

Sorry it's taken me so long to update this. We went to a Spokane Chiefs hockey game last night, so I wasn't home to write. On that note, at the game I found the First Aid room and gave myself my two 7pm injections. I'm always proud when I can do them in public. It honestly wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. The room was very clean and the people were very nice.

My appointment went well and was uneventful. It was a blood draw and internal ultrasound. I was the 3rd person there, so the blood draw went quickly. Then I waited, and waited and waited for my ultrasound. It's generally a longer wait because the RE has to arrive to do the ultrasound and I think he kind of shows up when he wants to. After all, he's the boss, right?! I arrived at 6:45 and didn't leave until 7:30. Oh well, it's always fun to watch people in the waiting room.

I received a call yesterday afternoon from my nurse, Karen. She said that my ovaries were responding too well and that my dosage of one of the medications was being cut in half. This is odd for me. With both of my previous rounds my meds have been increased after a few days. I guess my body is reacting differently this time for some reason. I'm glad they dropped them early though because if I take too high of a dose for too long, I may end up hyperstimulating which is painful and cancels the round. No fun.

One thing our RE noted during the ultrasound was that my endometrium (uterus) is not thickening yet. He said it was fine, but if you all will send positive thoughts and prayers for my body to do it's thing, I would appreciate it.

I have another appointment tomorrow morning and will update tomorrow night.

I made a video tonight, but it doesn't seem to want to load. Someone who knows more about Blogger should fill me in...

DING DING DING.....round 3 begins

I realized as I was titling this that I never told you all what a great deal we got on our drugs this time!! I have Jen to thank for that because she gave me some of her leftover, unused meds. I also had a vial of very expensive medicine left from our last round, so our total was just under $1500.00. I know that doesn't seem like a good deal, but IVF drugs are expensive!

Anyway, back to today...
It was a dark and foggy drive to Spokane this morning. It was a bit eerie, but I guess that's what we get for living in an area with so many bodies of water. I arrived a bit early, buzzed the office (have to buzz in on the weekends), and I was the first one there. I went back for a quick blood draw and I was done.

My nurse called around 10:00 to report that my numbers are looking good and I will begin the stimulation phase tonight. I will kick it off with two injections (subcutaneous in my tummy) each night at 7pm, until Wednesday, when I will go back in for an ultrasound and blood work. I will work on pictures and/or a video of the injections so you can all feel like you're here with me.

I've been talking to my friend, Jen, a lot lately. She did her 3rd round of IVF at the same time I did my 2nd. She has validated my feelings of being very neutral this round. I'm neither excited, nor nervous, nor happy, nor anxious for this round. She says she was exactly the same way before her 3rd round. The good part of that is I feel very relaxed about this time because I know what to expect and there shouldn't be any surprises because we're following the same protocol. Thus, my body should react the same way. Somehow though, I feel like I should be excited or something. Oh well, it is what it is.

More after my appointment on Wednesday.

Very Small Cervix

Ouch! I had my hysteroscope on Friday morning and it hurt!! A hysteroscope involves my doctor attaching a tiny camera to the end of a long tube-like instrument, inserting it through my cervix (very small cervix) and into my uterus to take a look around. Apparently the immense pain I was feeling is due to the fact that I have an unsually small cervix. What does this mean? Nothing really. It's just the way I'm made. However, I been trying to focus on the positives with doing a 3rd round and here is my first one; how many woman get to see the inside of their uterus up-close and personal? I know, I know, many of you are asking why that would be a good thing. Hey, give me a break. I have to be creative to come up with positives. :) Honestly, it really was kind of interesting though, after I got over the pain. The best part is that my doctor didn't find any scar tissue or polyps from the D & C.

While I was there, they also did an ultrasound (internal type) and blood draw. They were checking my ovaries to see if they are adaquately "resting", and they are. Yay ovaries! (Can you tell how positive I am?) The blood draw was to test my LH level (surges just before ovulation), E2 (estrogen) level and my P4 (progesterone) level. All the levels are good. I will take my last birth control pill Tuesday night (20th). I should then have a light period. We are currently still on track to start injections (stimulation phase) next Sunday, the 25th.

I will write more on the 25th or 26th. Does anyone want to see pictures of me giving myself the injections? I was thinking about taking some this time, but wasn't sure if that was too much for my readers! Let me know what you think...

I'm a Planner

You all know me, so you understand how much I enjoy organizing and planning things. This is especially true with IVF. There are truly so many aspects about the process that I (we) have no control over. I think that's why when I got my calendar on Wednesday I was thrilled! The calendar roughly maps out what our 3rd round will look like and when I have appointments. It looks like we will be beginning injections either the 25th or 26th of October. Our egg retrieval will be November 5 or 6 and our transfer will be November 10 or 11.

This is all great news for a variety of reasons. Our nurse gave us the 1st available day to start the injections, which means I won't have to take the birth control for very long (it upsets my stomach). As a reminder, the birth control is used to "quiet my ovaries" before they are stimulated with meds in the next phase of the process. These dates also mean we should know whether I'm pregnant before Thanksgiving. We are planning a family Thanksgiving, so either way it will be nice to have support from my family members.

I also have an appointment on October 16 for a hysteroscope to make sure everything looks ok after my D & C.

Follow-up

We had our follow-up appointment with our RE today and he didn't tell us much that we didn't already know. He did validate our feelings of emotional chaos and he expressed a real motivation throughout the office for our 3rd round to be successful. It's always good to have a few more people cheering for us.

We went to the appointment prepared with our TYPED list of questions with space between them to take notes (that's Craig's job). I'm the question asker and he's the note taker. We have it down to a science.

These are the questions we asked and the responses our RE gave:

1. What more can you tell us about the genetic test results?
He answered this question before we asked actually. He said that just because our test came back "normal", it does not mean the baby was developing normally. In fact, he said that when it comes back normal that just means it was inconclusive. He believes in our case, it was a chromosomal problem. He explained that when the tissue is sent to the lab, they use cells and try to get them to grow so they can see how they are developing. In our case, the cells grew normally, but the abnormal cells may have been there but did not grow. I know, it's confusing... The important thing is that a miscarriage is very unlikely to happen again.

2. Is further testing of Nicole necessary to rule out other fertility problems?
No. He said further testing would be unlikely to reveal anything useful at this point. However, I will have a hysteroscopy before we do another series just to look for scar tissue and/or polyps from the D & C.

3. Is there a correlation between my progesterone level and miscarriage because I was no longer taking progesterone at time of miscarriage?
Doubtful because my levels were around 150 and a typical woman's progesterone level is 20 when they become pregnant.

4. Would you recommend a fresh or frozen cycle?
Due to the fact that we have "paid for" (still have to pay for meds and procedure where they inject sperm into egg each time) three rounds of IVF, it's probably best to do a fresh cycle. Fresh will give us the best chances for success. Frozen is always less successful because not all of the frozen embryos thaw well and make it to transfer day. Also, frozen embryos aren't the "best" embryos produced because the best ones were used for fresh transfers the last two times. Chances of success with a fresh round is 60% and frozen is 40%. ***A side note that our RE's office only freezes very good quality embryos, but they transfer the best of the best. Not all IVF offices do it that way.

5. Should we transfer 2 or 3 embryos?
It will depend on the embryo quality on transfer day, so we will have to decide later. He is okay with transferring up to 3, but will help us decide on transfer day.

6. Are our chances of success higher, lower or the same since the last round worked?
They are generally the same, however, when comparing a woman who has become pregnant through IVF and miscarried and a woman who's doing her first round of IVF, the chance of success is higher for the one who has been pregnant before.

7. What will change medicine wise for our next round?
Very little will change. However, he will have me take 2 extra shots of one of the meds because apparently my body reacts to one of the meds and he wants to counteract that a little bit.

Sooo, we left his office feeling pretty much the same about doing another round (we will be doing the November series)...we are emotionally drained. We are hoping for success, but know it may not work. We're still taking things one step at a time, so we're unsure about the "what ifs" and we're okay with not having all the answers. We don't want to look back and have any regrets, so we will do everything we can to make this round a success. If there is one thing I've learned about IVF, it's that it is WAY more emotionally difficult than I ever imagined. Before we began our first round, we were both most worried about the shots..would we be able to do them correctly considering how much we both hate needles? Before the 2nd round I was most concerned about all the trips to Spokane. Now it's definitely the question of whether we can emotionally handle it if this round doesn't work. All the fears of needles and travel have disappeared and we are left with the thought of how hard IVF is emotionally.

Finally...we have results!!

After 4 long weeks of waiting, we have the genetic test results from the tissue of the baby. The pregnancy was "normal" meaning there were no chromosome or genetic problems. This means that it is very unlikely to reoccur. All of this news, plus 5.5 weeks of processing the miscarriage has left us feeling pretty optimistic for the next round. Don't get me wrong, I still have tough days. It doesn't help that I work with primarily women between the ages of 25 and 32 who love to share their pregnancy and birthing stories on a regular basis. However, I think it has helped me have some amount of faith that we could be sharing our story someday.

We will meet with our RE on September 28 ( only 2 more weeks) and he will give us more specifics on the genetic testing, as well as discuss our next step.

More later...

Waiting...

I am not a patient person and waiting for the results from our genetic testing seems like it's taking forever!! We still have a 1-2 week wait too! Ugh.

For the most part, things have been getting better emotionally for me this week. However, I've now moved on to the stage where I'm bitter/angry about anything baby related. I don't want to hear about babies, or talk about how cute someone's baby is. I don't want to see another pregnant person, etc. I've had this happen before, so don't be alarmed. It's normal. I will be fine. No one needs to send help.

Today was my appointment for my 1st beta blood draw. I was able to go to a lab in Coeur d'Alene, which was obviously more convenient than driving to Spokane. The beta test is to detect levels of HCG (only present during pregnancy). My level has dropped significantly and is down to 1,000 (from 50,000). I will continue to have blood draws every 10 days until the level is back to 0.

I scheduled our follow-up appointment with our RE where we will discuss our next step. It is September 28. Another thing to wait for, but it will be worth the wait. He will get us excited about IVF again and make us feel hopeful again.

D&C

It's been a long, tough week since we found out about our miscarriage. We have been overwhelmed with support and love from our family and friends, and for that we are extremely thankful. Each day is a little easier and in time we will be ready to try another round of IVF. Right now the shots and time commitment are the easy things to accept. It's the emotional roller coaster that seems like too much to handle.

Yesterday we went to Deaconess Hospital in Spokane for the D&C. We were very well taken care of from the moment we arrived. All the nurses were very attentive and the anesthesiologists listened when I told them I tend to get sick from anesthesia. Our RE performed the surgery and spent some time talking to us prior to the surgery to make sure we were doing okay and that all our questions were answered. He isn't always the friendliest doctor, but we have seen a different side of him that is kind and caring. After surgery I was in quite a bit of pain (primarily cramping). The nurses quickly gave me some toast and water so I could have a pain killer. I have a sensitive stomach and have had problems with several pain medications in the past. This time I was given a Percocet and my goodness, it was AWESOME! I understand how people become addicted to them. It took care of the pain quickly! Unfortunately, our RE only wanted me to have one of those and then asked me to switch to Advil or Aleve. So far, I've been able to keep the cramps under control. Today they are very slight twinges, so I'm on the road to recovery.

Craig was the best nurse yesterday and waited on me, cooked for me and helped keep me comfortable. What an amazing husband I have!

We have been told I need to have two regular menstrual cycles before we try another round of IVF. It looks like we will be doing another round in November, at the earliest. Until then, we will enjoy the break from baby making and continue to heal from this miscarriage.

We paid for genetic testing and should get the results from that in 2-3 weeks. I will keep everyone posted.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and prayers! Craig and I are so very thankful!!

Devastated!!

We went for our routine and final exam with our RE this morning. As soon as he inserted the wand (for internal ultrasound) he was very quiet and kept looking at the clipboard in the assistant's hand. He then asked if this was my first pregnancy and I started to panic. He said, "Everything looks fine, but there is no heartbeat". My heart started racing and I looked at Craig. We were both in shock! I asked the doctor if maybe he was just missing it because of the baby's position. He said no and even turned the doppler (like an EKG) on. No heartbeat. It has obviously been a very, very difficult day for us. You all know how much we have been through and we were really celebrating this baby already! The doctor is stumped as well as our nurse. No one saw this coming. In fact, last week I asked our doctor if it was okay to tell the whole world about our news and he said everything was looking great and it was time to tell everyone. So, of course, last night I posted an announcement on Facebook for the world to see. Ugh.

We were given the choice of either "letting nature run it's course" or having a D & C. The advantage of the D & C is we may be able to get answers about what happened, while letting nature run it's course is non-invasive. We have opted to have the D & C, which is scheduled for next Tuesday. It's a surgical (no incisions, vaginal only) procedure done at a hospital where I will be put under and our doctor will go in and remove the baby. He will then be able to run tests to possibly (not 100% guarantee) tell us what went wrong.

Today has made us realize several things:
1. We are not ready to give up on IVF
2. We will not be telling the whole world we're expecting until much later next time
3. A pregnancy does not equal a baby
4. We have an amazing support system in our friends and family!! :-)

Wow!

I didn't think it was possible, but today's appointment was even better than last week's! Today I got to hear the heartbeat. So, so, so amazing!! I can't even put into words the great feeling that washed over me as that *thump, thump* filled the room! Wow!

The ultrasound picture is actually starting to look like a baby (alien?) now. The circle on the right is the egg yolk, which provides the baby with nutrients (I had to look that up!). I could clearly see the head, body and leg buds. I know the arm buds are supposed to be visible too, but I didn't see them. Maybe our baby doesn't have arms?? ;-)

All of my hormone levels looked great and our last day of injections is this Sunday! Whoop! We are both thrilled! The doctor was looking for a heartbeat between 120-180 and ours was 150, so we're right in the middle.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, I'm still feeling really good. The last week I've been craving potatoes and pasta. Apparently this baby likes carbs! I've also had a few candy cravings...in fact, one night last week after dinner I had to make a run to the store for banana laffy taffy. The only aversion I've had thus far is decaf coffee. This makes me very sad because it was my last hope to drink my morning coffee. I've officially decided that it's not the caffeine in coffee that I love so much, it's the flavor! Oh well, no more yummy coffee flavor for the time being...

Next Wednesday is our last appointment with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist). I'm going to miss the familiarity of his office and his wonderful staff, but it will be nice to be a "normal" pregnant person going to a regular doctor. Actually, I'm going to be making appointments with at least one doctor and one midwife soon so I can interview them and make a decision about who my caregiver will be. Anyone with insight into this, please share. I have heard pros and cons of both doctors and midwives, but would like to hear more opinions.

Just today we started telling a few more people about my pregnancy. We are excited to start spreading the news to our other friends and co-workers!

As a side note, we have had two unnamed people refer to my pregnancy as my "situation" and my "condition". Ha ha...there is your laugh for today.

6 weeks 3 days

We had a really fun appointment this morning! We got to see our baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor. It was so amazing and really made this pregnancy feel real for me. It looked like a little light turning on and off very rapidly. We also found out today that we are having one baby, not two. I think we both breathed a sigh of relief at this news, not because twins wouldn't have been great, but because one is perfect. We couldn't be happier!

Just like the last ultrasound appointment, I had blood drawn to check my hormone levels and make sure my hcg number looked good. Everything looks great. In fact, we get to lower the progesterone dosage to half on Saturday, and then we will be done with shots a week later on August 1. You have no idea (unless you've gone through IVF) how excited I am about not having anymore shots!!!! It's been months of shots and frankly, my backside is getting sore.

My symptoms are more or less the same....very sore breasts, bloated (although it's a bit less now), and very tired. I try to allow myself a quick nap everyday to keep my energy level up. Also added this weekend, I started becoming hungry ALL THE TIME! About one hour after I eat, I'm starving again. It's insane! I have been focusing on healthy eating though, and have tried to limit my consumption of junk. One big change is that I'm forcing myself to drink milk everyday at dinner. I know I need more calcium and I really don't like milk, but I'm doing it for the baby.

I'm in the process of reading 3 pregnancy/baby books right now. It's pretty funny, but I just couldn't decide which one to start first. How about I start them all at the same time?! :)

We will be vacationing on the Oregon coast Saturday-Tuesday, so I will not have another appointment until next Wednesday. More updates then!

Ultrasound #1

Welcome to our new blog!

We decided it would be easier to keep everyone informed of the happenings of my pregnancy through this format. First of all I'd like to express my shock at actually being pregnant! It's so hard to believe that after 2 1/2 years of dealing with infertility, a failed round of IVF and tons of doctor visits, we can finally dream of our little one!

We had our first ultrasound appointment today. It was dissapointing because we still don't know how many babies are in there (1 or 2) and the baby(ies) are so small we couldn't see much. However, it was reassuring to know I'm still pregnant. I also had a blood draw while I was at the office. They were checking my hcg (produced by the body only during pregnancy) and hormone levels (estrogen and progestrone). All my levels were great. My hcg number was almost 5,000. On July 2 it was 85, on the 4th it was 213 and now it's almost 5,000. All these numbers mean is that the baby(ies) are developing well so far.

We also found out today that I'm 5 weeks 3 days pregnant and our due date is March 10, 2010!! It's fun to have a date to circle on the calendar.

Our next appointment is next Monday and we will continue to have weekly appointments for several weeks until our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) releases us to an OB.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, I've been super, duper tired!!!! I'm also pretty bloated and have extremely sore breasts. I had to purchase sports bras this weekend to wear to bed in order to make things with my "girls" a bit more comfy. It was a lifesaver last night! I don't want any of you to think I'm complaining about these symptoms. They are very welcome!